Do what you love for those you love.

Past Articles:
THE LIGHTER SIDE





Just Checking In

Devorah was at home with her six kids while her husband Chaim was on a business trip. In between meetings, he called home to say hello.

The phone rang, but while going to answer it Devorah tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to, and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver, turning on the phone. As it fell, it hit one of the twins, Shmuli, who started crying. Shmuli thought his twin brother Avi hit him, so he hit him back and Avi started crying. The teenage daughter Rachel screamed, “Shut up I’m trying to do my homework!” while Devorah started mumbling under her breath.

Devorah finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband Chaim’s voice say, "Nobody's said hello yet, but I'm positive I have theright number."

Morris M.

Math Quiz

Question on second grade math quiz: "Tony drank 1/6 of a glass of juice. Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice. Emily drank more. Explain."

My grandson’s answer: "Emily was thirstier
than Tony."

Cindy A.

Pet Peeve

When Dad came home he was astonished
to see his son Victor sitting on his dog, writing something.

“What on earth are you doing?” he asked.

“Well, the teacher told us to write an essay on our favorite animal,” answered Victor. “That's why I'm here and that's why Sara's sitting in the goldfish bowl.”

Mollie H.

Lasting Impression

I’m now in high school, so when I ran into my third grade teacher, I doubted she would remember me.

“Hi, Miss Frankel,” I said.

“Hi, Eddie,” she replied.

“So you do remember me?” I asked.

“Sure. You don’t always leave a good impression, but it is a lasting one.”

Marc S.

Toad You

"How do you spell toad?" one of my first-grade students asked.

"We just read a story about a toad," I said, then helped him spell it out: "T-O-A-D."

Satisfied, he finished writing the story he’d begun, then read it aloud: "I toad my mom I wanted a cat for my birthday."

Alexis F

More Than Welcomed

My fellow teacher called for help – she needed someone who knew about animals. As a science teacher, I filled the bill. "Oh," she added, "bring a net." Expecting to find some kind of beast as I entered her classroom, I was greeted instead by the sight of excited kids watching a hummingbird fly around. Rather than use the net, I suggested they hang red paper by an open door. The bird would be drawn to it, I explained, and eventually fly out. Later, the teacher called back. "Now," she said, "we have two hummingbirds flying around the room."

Jakie D.

An Apple a Day

Little Moishie was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Abba, why is my apple
turning brown?"

"Because," his father, a science teacher, explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which
caused it to oxidize, thus changing
the molecular structure and turning
it into a different color."

There was a long silence. Then Moishie asked softly, "Abba, are you talking to me?

Solomon H.

Grammar Lesson

Driving my car one afternoon, I rolled through a stop sign. I was pulled over by a police officer, who recognized me as his former English teacher.

"Mrs. Sultan," she said, "those stop signs are periods, not commas."

Esther Z.

Car Trouble

We live less thana quarter-mile from the high school, but my son proudly drove there in a car he bought with his own money. A typical first car, it had lots of little problems and was sometimes slow to start.

One morning I was surprised to see the car still in front of the house, so after school I asked him about it. "I had to get to school early," he said, "so I just ran."

Eli F.

Flat Tire

Four students walked in halfway through the American history test my father was giving to his high school class. "Sorry," they said, "we had a flat tire."

An understanding man, Dad said that if they could all answer just one question correctly, he would give them each an "A" for the exam. The students agreed. So my father handed each one a piece of paper, placed them in four separate corners and said, "Write down which tire was flat."

Lori R.

Miracle Doctor

Adele was unhappy with her doctor so when her friend Shirley raved about Dr. Cohen, she decided to give him a try.

At Dr. Cohen’s office Adele and Shirley sat beside a woman who was there for a throat culture. She sat in the waiting room for quite a while with her legs crossed, reading a magazine. Suddenly her turn was called, but when she stood up to go in, she discovered her leg was asleep. Not wanting to keep the nurse waiting, she limped and staggered toward the inner office door.

Adele nudged Shirley and let out an audible, “Oy” as the two of them sympathetically watched the woman’s painful progress.

Two minutes later, her procedure completed and her leg back to normal, the woman walked easily back into the waiting room. As she strode past the two elderly ladies, she overheard Shirley whisper triumphantly to Adele, "See, Adele, I TOLD you Dr. Cohen was a wonderful doctor!"

JanetN.

Dietetic Cookies

Marvin took his daughter Leslie to the grocery store to help him buy groceries. In addition to the healthy items on his wife Miriam’s carefully prepared list, the two of them returned home with a package of chocolate chip cookies.

"Whyin the world did you buy those?" Miriam asked. "You know they aren't good for you!"

"Oh, don't worry, honey,” Marvin said. “These cookies have one-third less calories than the usual ones.”

Miriam looked all over the package but couldn't find any claim to that fact, so she asked, "What makes you think that?"

"We ate about a third of the box on the way home."Perfect Attendance

Our local newspaper lists recipients of school awards. Beneath one photo the caption read, "This year’s Perfect Attendance Awards go to Lisa Stein and Morris Dwek. Not present for photo: Morris Dwek."

Stanley R.